Commanding the Sexual Appetites

The sweet sixteenth year of her life became target of flirting Farhan Durrani’s physical lust. She lost her virginity to him every second day until she become known to the reality. Shattered with pain and despair, when she sat for the last time in his car, he kissed her cheek and hugged her as tight as possible, trying to console her and bring back to his net. But it was too late, for it was the first time his touch was as meaningless to her as could be to a stone.

It is an unfortunate element that majority of the world population commonly claim sex as a natural appetite to a human body and is intangible. There is a strong set of mind that believes that being resistive to sexual appealing is abnormality and should be treated wisely. This in contrast to customary perceptions is studied very deeply by the psychiatrists too. Though, understanding the control of sexual feelings is easier than anything potential to human psyche.

Sex is as mechanical as any machine. Despite of the fact, that human structure itself is considered as one of the most complex example of a machine; sex is portrayed as an uncontrollable and important need of the body. Gulfing sexual urges is assimilated in words like frustration, depression, abnormality etc. instead of being associated as one of the basic abilities a mind can perform while performing other body tasks.

Having sex, no matter in what manner is conventional while not having it is assumed as a disorder seems most mysterious to all humanly comprehensions. If it really is that important then why….

·       Human being not only do sex to humans but the sickness exceeds to anything?

·       Not everybody is just fucking all the time?

·       Do individuals opt for being homos or tend towards self-satisfied procedures of sexual pleasures?

·        Would one stick to a single partner for potential physical attachment and other keep on having sex with a new partner each time?

·       Do a loving partner stop attracting and arousing one after being hated due to any certain reasons?

·       Isn't sex a very private matter and collides to sexual demands regarding acceptance of partners?

·       Do we study come sexual orientations or procedures as unethical, abnormal or inhumane?

Sex is all about making a decision on having the pleasure or not to have. It’s as mathematical as anything calculable. When we think we have to let go or we consent to let go, sex proceeds. It doesn't require any effort to go with the flow no matter how one feels it through. But if the mind has a “no” to the scent of closing to feeling sexual horns, it is impossible to make a move individually or collectively among two or more.

People doesn't have low or high libido, they only have different capabilities to control their appetite. Those who know and understand their power to do so enjoys their desires the most whenever they feel like doing so for it is not formidable to anything anymore. The more one gets the magic to perform this ability, the more he or she gravitates other minds upon sex. Being enslaved to sexual appetite is not normal, having strong hold on it is the actual normality.

Mistakes are missed taken

“It is useless cry over spilt milk.”

People strongly believe in this proverb as some actions can’t be retreated or I may say almost all action? The fear of committing mistakes is so contiguous that it moulds the gestures of a normal human being into totally alien postures.

This is more of a traditional practice infusion as a child is always prompted at mistakes despite of the fact that it was mistakes that made the elders more experienced and anyways more successful. It was the mistakes that introduced them to new arenas of life and good food for thought.

“If you are not doing mistakes, then you are not doing anything”

Almost all the subjects under study are the consequence of brilliant blunders man has committed since its existence. Today it is expected that the ones who are studying these subjects, should learn from the mistakes of others, which is not possible but only to a confined pattern of learning. The approach of teaching through practical involvement is derived from the phenomena of self experiencing.

“It is more important to do than to do well”

Human mind is curious and question things around even its own presence. The process of probing mostly ends up on mistakes. The mistakes which are so fruitful, that they brings news colours and pictures.

“The worst mistake anyone can make is being too afraid to make a mistake.”

Contrary to the perception of considering mistakes as failure or negative trait, it’s evident that the construction of human mentality is dependent on mistakes. The planning, management, implication and evaluation of a successful journey circles around the possible mistakes undergoes the tenure of brain storming. The evolutionary growth of this globe and its creatures is missed taken through unlimited mistakes of adventure and maneuvers.

“Practice makes a man perfect” actually emphasize the importance of acceptance of mistakes in learning.

It is impossible for an entity to advance without acknowledging the being of mistakes, its involvement in chances and the risk of encounter. The passion and enthusiasm to get through mistakes for tasting a new glory produces extraordinary developments.

“Creativity is allowing  yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing  which one to keep.”

Thence, it should be highly cooperated to beautify the concept of mistakes, to encourage expression among learners. It is a changed pattern that motivates integrals to proceed and participate in upbringing of joys of innovations.

“There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn”

How to deal with Mistakes

Beyond Understanding

In early times of our lives we learn more from books then experiencing from around being under shadow of adults protecting us from all possible evils. We are spirited with the idea that books are the best companions of all times. Though with time and growth books becomes more of a tiring and boring job of study for reaching next level rather than a friend or a revealer of the world hues.

The approach changes due to the attitude society adopts towards the learner for upgradation of educational achievements, killing the beauty of knowledge secretly. The need of nourishing souls with knowledge become timely activity to get to the desired position required for being accepted in the social markets. Alas, there is nothing so devastating then spoiling a mind that wanders for know-how to satisfy its creation.

There are people illiterate to world’s educational customs, far superior in the mastery of knowledge, ability, performance and contribution. It is the essence of soul to feel and taste the widespread glory of the cosmos. It is a vision beyond imagination, calculation and explanation.

Perhaps this is the edge where creativity is appreciated as part of knowledge. Something very much of an individuals possession, undefined like a soul. Creativity that cannot be stolen, occupied, invaded or destroyed. It is universal in its existence--- strong and magical, connected in beings through unseen threads.

All things are manifestation of one hand, collaborating spirits attractively in commencement of the nature.  Just as the universe is created with mysticism unclosed for men to search and learn., mind roams and produces the unknown for hearts to penetrate and probe the discovery of incredible.

Creativity is not bound to inheritence, or to be taught or passed on to foresprings. It is infused in souls that commune with the waves of the same frequency. It is beyond all sciences, communication, psyches, and inventions. Perhaps, this is what we interpret as love.

Broken Hearts

“The pursuit of perfection, then, is the pursuit of sweetness and light. He who works for sweetness and light united, works to make reason and the will of God prevail.”

Matthew Arnold

One of the most common social practice of all times is the personality evaluation of an individual by others on the basis of his/her routine practices. People intend to judge others by their activities without getting into their shoes.

In casual runs, the observer’s focus remains on one’s any failure to confirm customery norms and violation of the norms, ignoring the flexible humanly approach that a heart might suffer from severe deviance due to many reasons. The most unfortunate thing is that, it is a social situation disliked by a lot despite of the factor that it can be treated by easy group effort and hating just add insult to injury of the sufferer.

This has made the awareness of communication therapy more significant in professional terms in order to make majority apprehend the shortcomings of a devient personality. Acceptance by a lot can play an important role in healing of such commonly ignored disorders for tolarance and patience of general is excessively important for implication of therapy.

The intensity of the patient vary according to the cause and time of existence. For instance dissatisfaction of basic needs urges one towards lust and maladjustment. Such an individual possess material abnormally and opt for limitless adventure including drugs to crime. Whereas unbalanced effection of parents causes worse form of devience specially in children; consequently reacting extreme to normal situations. They become over sensitive and get easily distracted.

Broken parents children lack trust and rely least on others because of being self centered in fear. They are more resistent to socialization whereas abused children may turn out to be abusers in their adulthood. Such psyches develop fear of acceptence, self-pity or torturing attitudes and in extreme cases can be very dangerous.

Lacking psychological awareness and training realted to personality building and traits in public dealing make majority misconstrue the abnormal reactions and response spiteful. This add fuel to the fire and make the innocent sufferer insecure enough to fail to socialize in community.  Rather then supporting, their frustration is led down by their homes, neighbours, friends and at professional congregations.

Another unnoticed factor is neurosis, developed in individuals who get through complicated cultural differences. This category doesn’t have strong potential of decision making due to distracted and confused mentality. They are culturally devided souls that are unable to stand in a single lifestyle. A Muslim and non-Muslim parent couple can devaste a personality if fails to set-up proper environemt at home.

This is begotten of an unorganised family structure and prospers only poor attainment of education or learning skills. Such individuals might be talented but either are short of expression or fail to come up on expectations.

Development is  game of attitude and one with wrong priorities can never change. In te same way, a subtle mind develops unethical or insane approach towards others due to absence of beliefs, morals and practices. This make the system unpleasent and damages flexibility of positive upgradation. Vicious cycle of poverty and uncontrollable pollution are the outcomes of such phenomenas.

Therefore, before stamping a quick judgement of an individual, a supportive and constructive attitude can help to explore a clearer vision of the entity. It evolves intellect of a better evaluator of a mind. Getting to know the colours of one’s life not only make the relation or communication more beautiful and stronger but also grows love. Healings hearts is better then breaking hearts.

City of My Dreams!

It was 20^th November 2008 when I got a mail from a pal that there is an international essay competition sponsered by various organisation. This was one of the most beautiful thing I ever wrote, and amazingly I didn’t think it at all. When I lay down at night, I couldn’t sleep due to all this coming into my mind so I got up and started writing it….thats what I fruited…

Before designing the city of dreams, it’s important to realize what ideal is; for ideal is the dream. I believe ideal is something that is almost perfect possessing all the beauties, attractions and positives one desire to achieve.

Oh! The earth is so ideal place!

And the different parts of it keeps so much colors that human heart belonging to any of it, never wants to leave it ever. What is then, that we still have to make a city of dream? A part of earth that’s awesome enough to adore?

          Its not that we don’t have city of dreams or world of dreams; but we are lacking the essence of ideal place in reality. All that’s required is, remove the lacking and negatives present.

          On my part, I don’t believe to keep sleeping and developing ideals but to open eyes and make hard efforts to achieve my dreams. I don’t believe in a place full of facilities and development which may provide all comforts of life but must lack heart’s happiness which is somehow happening with modern inventions.

          Technology is our need and essential part for a successful life but there’s something much more important and required to humans for living a happy and contented life. Its ideal place to live which cannot be achieved with material but approach, sight and a thought. Just a thought!

          A thought to make SWOT analysis of our environment and define all the lacking and potentials for remedies. For the earth is heaven’s image and just by removing its dirt which is also due to humans; it can be made ideal.

          If every individual do this analysis and think upon ways out to visualize a paradise like atmosphere around only in his or her part; the solution to every problem is no far. It is not the path we will be able to clean then but the feet that are marching on it too.

          We need to clean ourselves. Not to be angles but human that’s first and only presenter of God on earth. Being a true man of Creator is the idealism of humanity. If every human acts humanly, the least effort will be needed to just enhance beautification of the place it lives.

All what we need for happiness, is love. Love that compels to share minds, moments, life and dreams. Sharing give rise to desire for longer happiness and happiness comes from being together. And being together creates a sense of care and security of each other resulting in satisfaction. Then being together is all we have to do?

          A satisfied human never disturb others. Its something we can experience in our everyday life. It means togetherness is all we are lacking that’s destroying a lovable place granted by our Creator? Devilish intentions and lust have trapped us in such a sticky web of materialism that we have lost the feeling of hurt.

          Let me share a wonderful experience regarding my dream city. After taking a training of only 8 days, from an organization Action Aid International, few of us students realized something we have never thought of before. The training was on communication, perception, presentation and social mobilization skills.

          There was a group of almost thirty-two students who were very active and capable. In the start of training, things in training module seemed to be childish but day by day whole of our personality changed. It felt like we are enchanted by a strong spell of motivation and self realization. Although the training was not of very high standard but it made us find our lacking and faults which created problems for us but we never noticed.

          Therefore, few among us grouped together, shared ideas and ideals and established a group with name, THE GENERATORS. It has no resources to utilize but spirit of “Dare to be Different.” And a structure is made to make this group start mobilizing. This shows that motivation and unification is the first step towards ideal success and achievement.

          This group is based on participatory concept so that potential of every member can be utilized and best results can beget. This once will start working, more youngsters will be invited to join and deficiencies will be targeted, to be removed.

          Either its education, health, awareness or structural development, human resources will be utilized to confront all social problems of the area and then support will be acquired from different organizations to increase capacity building of generations.

In this way, slowly and gradually ways to solve every occurring problem will be discovered and consequently, no hurdle would be left in future.

North West Frontier Province of Pakistan, my area, is blessed with so much talents and abilities. Our people are loving and generous. But it is backward, because its not been given much attention due to its geographical condition that is mountainous ranges. It used to be very hard to travel and live here but it has changed a lot and quite developed not only by state but by many private institutions.

          All that is wrong is, many NGO’s and private groups are merely working and looting money in the name of development due to which more and more bias is raising among people’s heart against other communities. Unemployment and lack of awareness is still present as opportunities are provided to only those who take side of corrupts.

          This group wants to work under check and balance system within the group members and believe in man power not finances. Awareness is being created among many friends that although money is required to lead life nowadays but getting it by snatching someone’s right never gives happiness.

          I believe that this group will be strong and will definitely make great difference in mobilizing young energy in all positive activities, which will grow fruitful trees diminishing all thorns.

Finances are must needed but human resources are significant in taking initiative and that’s present therefore dreaming is no more our job.

          Hopefully the group will stand as a strong support to the area and soon will become the voice of all hearts. This will help in calling every single person on his or her own will to contribute to the prosperity of area and his or her own future success. Because, once we moved on, we won’t let people beg, steel or snatch but will make them so able to earn enough to be happy.

          A constant community will be goal that will diminish caste or race differences and “love is all we have to give” would be the message to promote and act upon.

          That’s what is required to us. But in any part of this heaven’s image, if such an activity is started; no doubt it will become ideal. Making different parts or cities of earth ideal, the whole world can be changed to most desirable place for every human being.

          Hence, the conclusion is, everything is in our own hands. If all of us make a combine effort to purify the originality of world’s colors, this world would be the most adorable place after heavens. And the death will only be a transformation from one heaven to another in reality.